@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
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@madeleinedoux: [date at rooftop bar] give me ur hand "Is tha-are u wearing a squirrel tail?" *rips off jacket to reveal flying squirrel suit* do u trust me
@Brampersandon_: GF: What a perfect night ME: It gets better *bends on 1 knee* Will you... GF: OMG yes! ME: *puts Space Jam DVD on her finger* put this in?
@ilovepie84: When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs.
@FinnMcIver: I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don't do that guys, don't do that.