@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
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@BMCarbaugh: At my funeral, I want the organist to start playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" really slowly, until everyone is staring at the coffin in dread
@KattsDogma: I have to lose 20 lbs in 3 days. Piece of cake, I tell the waitress. Chocolate. Thanks.
@Ms612: Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
@briangaar: *interrupts parent & child on bus* Actually thats not true, Wolverine has died many times *they get up* Your mother cant shelter you forever