@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Thinking of having kids? Practice getting small children ready to play in the snow by wrestling a pair of gloves onto an angry octopus.
@sip_at_home_mom: Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda.
@jimmytorosian: *phone rings* Wife: "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me (a dad): "Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you." Wife: "...."
@SherifLSharkawy: Felix went to the moon, took 5 photos. She went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.