@Cpin42: Based on his ability to hide poop, my cat would be the worst criminal of all time.
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@AmishPornStar1: It's almost summer and I'm only three stomach flus and a couple tapeworms away from my beach body!!!
@KentWGraham: My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.
@ramenfuneral: that awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse
@Phook75: If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats