@Cpin42: Based on his ability to hide poop, my cat would be the worst criminal of all time.
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@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.
@carlyken: A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.