@NervousJr: Based on how many times I've dropped my phone, I'm gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
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@ericsshadow: How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law said that we should stay an extra day if it's too snowy to drive. SOMEONE LEND ME A SALT TRUCK.
@MikeDrucker: 2017: It can’t get worse than this DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment