@SuperRandomish: Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt.
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@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Charlie Sheen's herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
@nimble__nick: CW: I like your scarf. Me: Thanks, it's a CVS receipt. I didn't know what else to do with it.