@brookeisgolden: Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games.
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@runningmascara6: I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole..
@rockymomax: WIFE: stop quoting Britney Spears songs or I'll leave you ME: but I'm a slave 4 u WIFE: that's it ME: (whispers) oops I did it again
@internetluke: [interview for fireman] "So why do you think you're a good fireman?" I lit the building on fire "What?" Now watch as I try to put it out