@daemonic3: Based on my family's hatred for vegetables and always throwing them in the garbage, I hope I'm never in a coma.
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@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
@shawnspree: I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you're going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people.
@Jerrypleasure: [first day as an archaeologist] ME: *digging* COWORKER: *yelling* stop digging in our office, karen !! You're gonna get us all fired