@E_lok44: Based on the amount of animal hair, clinging to your t-shirt, I'm going to pass on your homemade cookies, thank you.
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@AimeeHelene1: Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop.
@foxnerdrn: If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am.
@JimmySelfDest: Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry
@MUMSIEesq: My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there.