@jnrbtsn: Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
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@atamba_lakeli: My boyfriend recently called me his woman And now we're living in the jungle, wearing deer skin and hunting for food
@Jamie1947: Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?
@fro_vo: Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you're an "arf"itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it's "bark"itect
@Marcmywords2: Someone called me yesterday and said, "Hello, is this Ross" I said " no it's Chandler" And they hung up. So much for trying to be Friends.