@jnrbtsn: Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
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@murrman5: [space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: "we should've taken our own" astronaut holding net: "just keep looking"
@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@ASpiker: I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren't we helping to find them?