@ReginaldDennys: Based on the number of nurses on twitter, I now know why I'm bleeding to death in the ER.
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@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
@salamingia: My wife said I'm picky. I said obviously not picky enough. Anyone need a roommate tonight?
@cm_rutvik: Jeff: i'm pro gun. Me: i'm anti gun. Greg: i'm vegan. Me: i'm pro gun, now. Jeff, give me your gun.