@ReginaldDennys: Based on the number of nurses on twitter, I now know why I'm bleeding to death in the ER.
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@ManicMouse: CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch.
@Mr_Kapowski: 7 y/o daughter: Why don't they have tape for your burrito but you could eat the tape? And now I know what Einstein's parents felt like
@Fred_Delicious: wait did that Australian guy say "meteorite" or "mate are ya alright?" *gets hit by a meteorite* "hey mate are ya alri... no you're dead*
@GrantTanaka: I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it'll just be my turn.