@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
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@girlontapas: My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit.
@Miniwheats2012: My son can go from "omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!" To "you're the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.