@kumailn: Batman based his superhero off what terrified him most. If I followed the same logic my superhero would be ListeningToVoicemailsMan.
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@pinupteacher: WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake.
@murrman5: [rose from the movie titanic a couple years later sitting on crowded bus] excuse me, can you slide over so I ca- "NO, there's no room"
@Brampersandon_: DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*
@jazmasta: No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.