@IGotsSmarts: Batman Begins Crossdressing #AddAWordRuinAMovie
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@Gooooats: By this time of year baby Jesus was probably already totally sick of playing with his frankincense.
@truegritrumble: WIFE: What're the kids doing? ME: Playing lawn darts. W: Is it safe? M: Hope not. W: M: W: Wtf M: Can't afford to send both to college, Jen
@GrantTanaka: 1: ‘Twas the night before xmas, & all thru the house Dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse
@hipstermermaid: I got 99 problems and they're all friend requests from people I didn't like in high school.