@Molly_Kats: Batman Begins Scrapbooking #AddaWordRuinaMovie
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@WongLipJun: Rules for rap battling Eminem: 1. Do not let Eminem go first. 2. Do not let Eminem go second.
@TheMichaelRock: You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!
@onedavedeep: Once she realized I was chatting her up, the Kohl's girl immediately indicated the extent of her interest: "My dad wears shirts like that"
@PaperWash: McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know