Batman Begins Scrapbooking #AddaWordRuinaMovie
You Might Also Like
Spice girls: tell me what you want, what you really, really want
Me: I want all conditioner bottles to say NOT SHAMPOO in big red letters
The Burger King can legally officiate a wedding, but only if the rings are onion rings
GIRL: l’m tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change.
ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*
“When does he start playing the mandolin?”
– me, watching The Mandalorian
Me, at the arby’s drive-thru: i didn’t hear you, can you repeat that?
arby’s cashier: {yelling} can you turn your police siren off?!
“what does your tattoo mean” i had money and nobody stopped me
[skydiving with my dog]
Me: ur ears r inside out
My dog: can’t hear u my ears r inside out
Me: it’s the wind
My dog: I think it’s the wind
When people tell me my skin is soft I can’t help but wonder if they’re measuring me for a rug
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it’s health benefits.
The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves…
Californians complain when it rains then complain when there’s a drought. Cmon guys do we wanna be wet or not!!
This train was so long I had time to file my nails and my taxes.
Does refusing to workout count as resistance training?
When your daughter asks “are your snacks more important than me??” you should NOT pause to think.
I know this now.
Want to know the real reason behind the egg shortage?
Henopause
Annnd, send tweet.
why are we only commenting our code? we should be liking and subscribing too
Big fight with the husband, apparently there is a correct way to roll up a garden hose.
I’m gaining weight for my role as “‘Before’ picture”
This buffalo chicken salad would be great if it weren’t for all this salad
I don’t care if you talk behind my back. Just speak up so I can hear you too.
it’s always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.
Do you think anyone fired from Twitter is decamping to their picturesque home town where their parents are about to put them in charge of a local Christmas project, and their only assistant? a handsome carpenter (who’s single)
Bae: Come over.
Romeo: Can’t. You’re a Capulet, I’m a Montague.
Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over.
Romeo: Also, you’re 13.
[a bunch of henchmen just shit-talking the name Bruce]
(from the shadows) um Bruce is actually a really cool and good name
Love how Scooby-Doo has the ability to speak and the mystery gang is like nbd
Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put “delicious” in their name. Like calm down. You’re still just an apple. You ain’t no prize.
them: how are you
you: [desperately aware that herds are necessary for survival] normal
Age 10: One day I will get married and have 10 kids
Age 20: I hope I find someone neat
Age 30: *hissing sound*
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend obviously never had a burrito.
ME: My goal is to be king, like my dad.
HER: That’s amazing. Of what country?
ME: It was his goal, Linda. And now it’s mine.