@msdanifernandez: [dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend

@Kyle_Raney: Dang girl, are you an unreliable scientific claim? Because imma need you to BACK THAT UP

@SarahMJade: Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious.

@ThingsDrakeDo: A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Yeah," Drake sighs as he keeps walking. "She was."

@tchrquotes: There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith.