@jackiembouvier: I can tell Spring is almost here because I'm on the verge of wanting to kill myself but I'd also like to plant some bulbs.

@jonnysun: grandpa: ur father changed after the war me: somtimes emojis i never use appear in my frequently used page and i dont kno how they got there

@Tmoney68: Her: You sound hoarse. What's wrong? *flashback to me screaming Taylor Swift songs in my car on the way home* Me: Dunno. Probably a cold.

@kathybotteas: I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate.

@mikefossey: BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon