@noog: *Batman receives electric bill for Bat Signal*
"ALFRED WE'RE GETTING IPHONES."
@XGroverX: Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!
@ArrowsOfTheSun: Push-up men's underwear.
Taking complexes to a whole new level.
@DawleyGirl: Dinner conversation:
10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island?
Me: 1) You--
10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?
@GaryJanetti: I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway.
@riley_fox: 2/14/16 — The Day I Got Owned Online By 1-800-Flowers