@noog: *Batman receives electric bill for Bat Signal*
"ALFRED WE'RE GETTING IPHONES."
@Tmoney68: [Job Interview]
Boss: What's your biggest weakness?
Me: *pulls laminated card out & hands it to him*
Card: "My over-preparedness."
@PinkCamoTO: Crime and Punishment is my favourite novel about family vacations.
@joshgondelman: Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs.
@jaggings: Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.