@noog: *Batman receives electric bill for Bat Signal*
"ALFRED WE'RE GETTING IPHONES."
@Luiki89: Friends are like bananas.
If you peel their skin and eat them, they will die.
@drearydoug: At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat.
@mrtruthandsoul: Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine
@phalguy: Realtor: This house here comes with a playroom
Wife: Oh, the kids will love that!
Realtor: It's not that kind of playroom
@living_marble: The world is my oyster. Expensive and gross.