@Ygrene: *Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*
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@Knob_ish: Please. Stop. Tweeting. Stop. Like. Stop.This.Stop. It. Stop. Looks.stop.Like.stop A stop.Telegram.stop so. Stop. Please. Stop!
@djdarrellripley: Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!
@Cravin4: Me: I don't think Grinding Dory is appropriate for the kids. Wife: I said FINDING DORY & we need to discuss your internet usage.
@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.