@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade
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@SCBamaMan: As soon as you see the cop approaching, throw the bag of weed in his hands and do a citizen's arrest.
@murrman5: [rose from the movie titanic a couple years later sitting on crowded bus] excuse me, can you slide over so I ca- "NO, there's no room"
@JB4Realz: [Marriage Counseling] Wife: He's always messing up even the simplest phrases. Me: I THOUGHT we were gonna keep that on the download...
@LindaInDisguise: Bohemian Rhapsody should be an official unit of measure. "I can shower in 1 Bohemian Rhapsody." "Ran a 5K in under 6 Bohemian Rhapsodies."