@trevso_electric: Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?
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@justabloodygame: [commercial for Facebook] *man sits in tree, watching friends from high school through binoculars* "Don't you wish there were a better way?"
@MoistPork: My only fitness goal is to be able to lift an adult male, approximately the size of my husband, into the trunk of my car without help.
@DothTheDoth: Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa.