@Jandalize: Be back in a few days. Gotta shave my legs for spring. But, before I go, what's the best way to sharpen hedge trimmers?
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor
@Sickayduh: Good cop: You have the right to remain silent Girlfriend cop: What's wrong? Why are you being so quiet? Are you mad? I hate when you're lik
@KentWGraham: The movie scene where discarded clothes lead to lovers in bed, except it’s my clothes leading to my wife picking them up and cursing me.
@SaraMansford: My kid just put on an apron and made homemade brownies so forget the world, I'm not even the best mom in my house anymore.