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@CherBear162: Be Careful Driving
@spazrunsny: Telling a woman she's being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder.
@preshmomes: my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work
@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program
Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort
So I did
@weinerdog4life: Shoutout to my upstairs neighbors who wrestled a large moose last night
@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.