@AsgardianRose: You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once?
That's how I'm handling adulthood.
@flashember: [DOG COP TV DRAMA]
DOG SHERIFF: Drop the gun, Scruffy. Be a good boy!
SCRUFFY: I know a little secret *lifts gun* All dogs go to Heaven.
@omgthatspunny: I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
@stoneman67: My birthday suit doesn't fit me anymore.
@SaveItForFest: STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE.
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