@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
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@dubiousgenius: Scientists say Spider-Man would not be able to climb vertical surfaces due to his size. It's almost like someone made the whole thing up.
@weinerdog4life: Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?
@AmericanGent69: When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book. This is why I have trust issues.