@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: my date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. First I want to date you & get to know you."
@ceejoyner: Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn.
@SteveSuckington: Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter