@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
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@SarcasticAlly12: A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes.
@delusionaliam: I always carry a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say "I like your haircut", I can respond with, "Thanks, here, have some."