@jonnysun: be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge
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@bridger_w: Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
@One2thTEXAN: *walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy.
@Cheeseboy22: Apparently my 6yo old son went to school with a Spiderman costume under his clothes. The students of Edison Elementary are safe today.
@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy