@Cyd10e: "Be careful when you follow the Masses.
Sometimes the 'M' is silent."
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We need to hire smarter people.
Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this?
@david8hughes: *on deathbed*
"Son u were *cough* ado-"
"Dad? I was adopted?!"
"A dot of misery on my otherwise happy life. I don't know why we adopted u."
@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.
@dorsalstream: [lights 2016 calendar on fire]
There. Now you can't hurt anyone any longer.
[wind blows calendar onto my coat; I'm engulfed in flames]
@badbanana: Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let's ruin both at once.