@Cyd10e: "Be careful when you follow the Masses.
Sometimes the 'M' is silent."
@JohnFugelsang: Millions stunned and blindsided to learn Tim Allen had been on a network sitcom for like the last six years or something
@danorslim: Me: You wanna have sex tonight?
GF: I'm not in the mood babe.
Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone.
@sammyrhodes: I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps.
@OneFunnyMummy: Dance like no one's watching & cook like someone else is cleaning up that shit.
@Chumpstring: Crazy that in 2017 auto-flush toilets still can't distinguish between someone who's peeing and someone crouching down to get a sip of water.