@Cyd10e: "Be careful when you follow the Masses.
Sometimes the 'M' is silent."
@TheCatWhisprer: I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season.
@ashleyaustrew: You have -4 min to cook. Your ingredients are:
An apple w/ 1 bite out of it
Chicken you didn't thaw
- Chopped: Moms Edition
@LuvPug: I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can't tweet it again because it's already been stolen
@A_Tribs: Her : You hang up first. nnMe : *click*
@bornmiserable: ME: Avenge my death
CO-WORKER: That's just a paper cut
ME: [coughs, grabs his collar] DON'T YOU NORMALIZE THIS