@lazerdoov: "Be cool, it's the cops" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen
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@SteveSuckington: Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses? Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.
@TheRolo: Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to "Vintage Hams"] Hipster: I'll take 4
@robfee: Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die.