@lazerdoov: "Be cool, it's the cops" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen
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@TheCatWhisprer: Based on her reaction I don't think my toddler will ever forgive me for gently wiping her face.
@MischievousJam: I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food
@Bandersnaaatch: Hell hath no fury like this woman attempting to type "scorned" and having it autocorrected to "scrotum" 13 times in a row.