@kumailn: Be great if just once the winning actor was like "I mean it wasn't a particularly strong group this year, but still."
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@Try2StopME: Most people in horror movies would still be alive, if only those idiots had listened to the audience.
@virtualhippie: Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.
@RobDenBleyker: I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014
@trevso_electric: "Smells fresh. Like a tropical island." "Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"