@recoveringbapti: Be on the lookout for a armed psychic midget who just robbed a bank and got away....the police now have a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE!! ba dum dum
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@illTortuga: From now on, when you see the word "minimum", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.
@Jaywoo74: Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I’ll just be small and happy.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job? Me: After lunch, next question.