@SexySpainNights: "Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
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@pitbull_wizard: [blind date is waiting nervously at the table] *I slowly emerge out of my own massive vape cloud and begin walking towards her*
@shamans_heal: The doctor wants me to start eating healthier to add years to my life. It's like he doesn't realize I'm married.
@AlexRogaski: [Science Meeting, 1924] Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique? It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"