@SmithWit: Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again.
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@woodmuffin: Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking spaces? Why's there no cemetery for ALIVE people??
@ebrawley: Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok
@theshamingofjay: Exclamation point rules ! - good !! - excited !!! - awesome !!!! - starting to get creepy !!!!! - cheerleader creepy !!!!!! - own 20 cats
@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied