@SmithWit: Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again.
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@WorkingMom86: My son got very excited about all the toys he found when I cleaned behind the couch, I should have waited till Christmas morning to do that
@ReelQuinn: I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.