@SmithWit: Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again.
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@Bob_Janke: If you immediately tell new people you meet you're allergic to chocolate, you can eat all of their candy bars when they aren't looking.
@VeggieMonger: My mother said that I looked "cheap" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "What's your greatest accomplishment?" Me: "I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."