@UrbanDouchebag: Be the change you want to find in your couch.
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@Ketamine_Stalin: THE SUN HASN'T RISEN IN SIX WEEKS AND THE ANIMALS ARE AGITATED. THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM JUST SAYS "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"
@burntmybagel: My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him "doctor."
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.