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@WhoToldYou2: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
*Morphs into a kitten
@HomeProbably: When someone says they love me to the moon and back, I tell them that’s only about 500,000 miles and I expect more tbh.
@ben_rosen: 90s scientists: we cloned a sheep! we landed a robot on mars!
scientists today: for the last time, the earth is *round*
@tigersgoroooar: Yesterday CNN reported that "sitting will kill you, even if you exercise" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you.
@Sarcasticsapien: The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time.
@malt_skull: [Spider-Man shows up at my house]
*I carefully scoop him up on a piece of paper and release him outside my door*