@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
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@ClickBaite: [SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Bourgeoisie ME: Really? W o w JUDGE: *annoyed* Sir, the word is Bourgeoisie ME:*clears throat* Eff - U - See - Kay - U
@bingowings14: Been to the hospital to get a mole checked. Apparently they all look like that & I should've just left it in its hole in the garden.
@GrantTanaka: sorry i'm still an undecided voter, but it's hard to pick just one when I love them both so very very much
@TheWoodenslurpy: My paranoid boyfriend broke up with me. "It's not you," he said, looking around. "It's them."