@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: It says you're here for a blood test. First, some questions. Number one: over the last six months who's been a good boy?
@SuicideBooth1: [fans out the deck] Pick a card, any card.. Memorize it.. [hits you in the face with a shovel] KING OF SPADES! [walks off]
@c_gawker: if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world
@TheGladStork: Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can "work from home", don't use air quotes.