@thepatrickwalsh: "Be there in 5," I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor.
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@sarahjeong: the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now
@SouthernStylin1: 14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen
@Snarfernini: A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter.
@DaHess1: Christian Mingle: God has hidden a spouse for you on our website. Pay us $30 and see if you can find them.