@CatherineLMK: Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy.
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@MartaEffing: I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you.
@TheDarkSideCEO: Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.
@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.
@thatUPSdude: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but Brad Pitt is hot. In other news, I might not know what bilingual means.