@CourtneyBale: Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you.
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@Book_Krazy: 9: What did that message on the TV say Me: It said, the film has been modified to fit our screen 9: How do they know what size TV we have?
@psinerd: When someone asks me if I could hold their baby I immediately drop my phone, try to pick it up and drop it again twice, and then say "Sure".