@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.
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@DirtMcTurd: I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud...
@laureneoneal: Why doesn't anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we're such cool people out with whom to hang?
@TheDweck: SENATOR: “Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?” ZUCK: “That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?”
@heymonroe: Fun Prank 1.) Go to Yoga class 2.) Compliment some people on their mats 3.) Unroll 20x25 oriental rug.