@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.
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@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"
@sad_tree: *hit man puts on silencer* *shoots gun* Gun: YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE LIKE MY MOMS Wth? *looks at case* Oh I brought the awkward silencer