@DaddyJew: Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle
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@TheAlexNevil: Him: What's that, Boy? Timmy fell down the well? Lassie: Well I said "reservoir," but if you need it dumbed down for you, sure.
@Cpin42: "I usually don’t do this on the first date," I say, pushing two lobsters together and making sex noises
@N0pantz: Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.