@DaddyJew: Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle
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@david8hughes: Wife: whats that? Son: I painted a picture of a cat Wife: it's very good Me: if it was very good you wouldn't have needed to ask what it was
@too_chihuahua: Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* "WHAT" I like guys dad "Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"
@JermHimselfish: Def Leppard are a bunch of liars. I poured some sugar on a girl one time and it was a complete mess, she was not happy at all.