@iGreenMonk: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count.
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@Ristolable: "Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs
@TrueTorontoGirl: Employee: Everything I eat goes right through me. Me: Yup, that's how digestion works.
@WickedDarkEyes: I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know... Oreos.