@iGreenMonk: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_ElvishPresley_: We were smoking in my friend’s basement once and as I finished rolling up a 3rd blunt my friend goes “oh man, I’ve never smoked 3 blunts in one sitting before” to which I replied “Billy we smoked 4 blunts last weekend.” He was like “yeah, but never 3”
@fowlerism: WIFE: If you embarrass me in public again, I'm leaving you [Single Ladies comes on the jukebox] ME: *rising to my feet* Well, we had a good run
@RadOrDie: I wouldn't mind getting arrested today because I'm having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous.