@garrettbarry70: Dad, was I a cocky teenager? Only when you watched Baywatch in your pyjam.... DAAAD!

@JohnFatherJohn: confession: I'm only getting my PhD in physics cause I wanted my hate for The Big Bang Theory to be more personal.

@daemonic3: We're having sweet potato fries with dinner "Haha sweet potatoes?" DON'T "Don't what?" You're gonna make a dumb potato pun "I YAM NOT!"

@sarcasm_inc: *leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. "Hi" "Hey" Hi."Push It" is about takin a dump, right? "No" "Nope" *hands friend $5*

@GoddamnedZombie: I get Bi with a little help from my friends.