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@Dil_Tron: Beaver 1: our house has been flooded...
Beaver 2: dam
@BlairLoudly: I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages.
@MattMelvin: I have a sixth sense of humor. I laugh at dead people.
@TheMichaelRock: I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?
@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.
@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.