@neiltyson: Because you know I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble. I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble.
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@Elizasoul80: Dr: If you want to lose weight, you need to do things that'll make you sweat. Me: *applies for a loan*
@Brampersandon_: ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME: *inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk* I thought u'd never ask
@davedittell: hey atheists: if God isn't real then who did I just give my credit card information to over the phone?
@senorwinces: Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing.