@CliffDuffy: Becky on Facebook is having a bad hair day and wonders if anything will ever go right. Be strong Becky, be strong. Also shut up.
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@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
@TheCiscoKidder: My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn.
@donsengstack: Jurassic Park 7: Nothing goes wrong and everyone just genuinely enjoys the company of the dinosaurs