@Sassafrantz: Becky on FB is "too blessed to be stressed" so I told her that I slept with her boyfriend.
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@BuckyIsotope: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees.
@phaggots: "Paper or plastic?" Sorry i have a boyfriend "Thats cool, but how should i bag your grocer-" I think we should just be friends
@metafroth: If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.
@UncleDuke1969: Frankenstein: Master go fishing? Igor: Yes. F: Master take worms? I: Yes. F: Master put on hook? I: Yup. F: Hehe...Master ba- I: Just don't.