@Sassafrantz: Becky on FB is "too blessed to be stressed" so I told her that I slept with her boyfriend.
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@VerifiedDrunk: Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates.
@derekblackmon: Still laughing about that time my grandmother said God told her to put my grandfather in an asylum because he was hearing voices in his head
@internetluke: Reporter 1: see Argentina needs to score here because if not they lose Reporter 2: so true jon. So true