@caseytduncan: Bed Bath & Beyond starts off pretty normal-sounding, but then it goes galactic.
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@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
@iwearaonesie: girl at the bar: You're funny me *brings her over to meet my wife* Tell her what you said
@liv_thatsme: Just locked eyes with a spider, but instead of killing him, I ran away & hid so he can spend the whole night stressing about where I am.