@caseytduncan: Bed Bath & Beyond starts off pretty normal-sounding, but then it goes galactic.
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@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
@LittleHarmonica: Men always say they like strong, smart women until you argue with them. And then they're all like: You talk too much....and I want my Mommy.
@Harbinger_one: This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, "Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend" on it. I'm so torn right now
@EndhooS: Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip