@timdonakowski: Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google.
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@kyle_thatisall: How to make a Disney Pixar film: 1. Take something that doesn't talk 2. Make it talk
@NervousJr: There's awkward, and then there's listening to a man try to have a conversation with his hairdresser.
@aka_fatman: "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"