@timdonakowski: Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google.
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@EviGarth: 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
@Nahdude83: Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it? Jim: Hmm [Two weeks later] Jim: Meet my new wife! *holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*
@ilovepie84: I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there.
@Fred_Delicious: Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York