@Dwarven_Cleric: Been yelling just awful things at people, trying to improve my chef skills.
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@TheToddWilliams: ME: Is it true you can smell diseases? MY DOG: Yes ME: Well do I have any? MY DOG: Yes, you're insane ME: Wow you can smell that? MY DOG: No
@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
@leechee420: How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?
@MarieColette: Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime.