@SeanINCypress: Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.
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@GrillinChillin9: Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I'm going to out live you too.
@MrSpoonicorn: *i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there* *i ask him politely to move* *he wont move* *i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*