@st00pidfast: Beer makes me less afraid of clowns.
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@Elizasoul80: Sometimes I put a vase of flowers outside to let other flowers know that if they try to be prettier than me, I'll cut their legs off too.
@DaddyJew: Jesus: *turns water into wine* Me: nice Me: *turns a steak into a cheesesteak* Jesus: *whispering under his breath* holy shit
@TheBoydP: Get ahead at the office by taking work home with you over the weekend. No need to work on it just make sure people see you take it home...