@Elizasoul80: Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese.
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@HomeWithPeanut: Your sex life as a parent basically becomes "Fifty Shades of Pray Those Kids Stay Asleep."
@ilovepie84: Whenever I see a new couple on a date I walk up to their table, hold up my phone and tell the guy "You're Wife Sarah says hello".